You Can Feel

I have been  able to continue to “carry on” everyday, for as long as I can remember, head down, so to speak, ramming on .  As I walked my dog today around my property, breathing the fresh air, I began to evaluate reasons why I chose this location to live my dream life.  Why? The word wouldn’t go away, since  on this particular day I was sick and it being the first day recovering, or being able to sort of have a sense of smell.  I noticed it as soon as I left the house , the stink of something bad being burned and then spreading through the air around. Disgusting!  Also, as we walked, the refuse piled up, and noise coming from the area next to my home, was just as noticeable and discouraging.  “Come on, ”  I said, aloud, really , this is how it is? Where have I been, under a rock for the past 15, or so years? The fresh air  and quite are gone from my dream home.  I’ve tried to maintain the “space”, freedoms of this space, for myself as well if not more for my Daughter.

What  is to be   ?

Living With It

I have been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia.  I have known and lived with both for at least 20 years.  It surly has been an uphill battle.  Most of  my symptoms are seasonal, although I do experience  some all year round.  I am writing this tonight, because I am very uncomfortable .  My legs have been giving me the most trouble in the last few days, cramping and having the feeling  things are crawling just under my skin.  I find I just want to be alone.  My partner, will make positive suggestions, such as excersise, and making some changes in my lifestyle.  No comment.    Really I would like to relate to other people with the same situation. Is there anyone out there, that wants to talk about it, I mean just compare notes.

A Day

A day, it is amazing what can take place in a given day. Just 24 hours, a mere speck of time in the big picture. You could fly across the Atlantic, land in , let’s say Germany, and lose several hours of time. Or closer to home, a nap, you might fall asleep for a few hours and people pass away, countries are being bombed, someone is being raped, kidnapped, giving birth, getting trashed, making love; it’s endless. I’m glad I can on any given day- STOP look around , really look, see what is going on in my little space. You know kind of take advantage of what I can and use it to its potential. Make small changes, never stand still too long.

Families

Today, my family took my Dad out to a local seafood resturant to celebrate his 75th birthday.  He usually pulls a fast one on us.  At the end of our meal, he tipically won’t show the rest of us the bill.  Today my Brother-inlaw managed to procure my parents bill.  It was a swift move on his part. It was done and over before my Dad had a chance to really complain, very good!  I felt strange sitting there watching the expression on my Dads face as he relized he had no chance of redeming his place as grand payer of the bill.  I kind of felt sad, a right of passage had occured, right before my eyes, and we all survived! He scrutinized my  Mom, she feined her innocence, and therefore was off the hook.  A memerable day, indeed.

My Art Work…

Ever since I can remember, I have been driven to create.  I remember my Mother catching me sitting  behind my brothers dresser, drawing pictures all over the back of it.  I was so involved in my task, I didn’t notice her looking down at me.  I really don’t remember getting into to much trouble, but it was about that time they both decided to buy me plenty of paper.  Glory days!  Do you know that finger paint looks great on kitchen walls as well as Brothers’ face?  It does! 

Next move was in an designated area-just for painting.  That was good, but I just liked to cover “big area”  To make a long story short I’ve since painted on several walls as well as buildings, something must be said  about paying attention to our “roots”

Jamie